Song: Pink – Try

Pink – Try on YouTube

This is one of those songs that I can play over and over and still enjoy it. I love to dance on it in my living room, I love to sing it in bathroom, I love to exercise on it, I just love this song, so sound on max!

It’s like total package for me – the music is empowering, energizing and sexy and the words are just like Pink was singing them right from my heart:

….

But just because it burns
doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try, try, try
Gotta get up and try, try, try
Gotta get up and try, try, try

….

Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy?
Even when it’s not right

….

Ever worried that it might be ruined?
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you’re out there doing, what you’re doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by?

Where there is desire,
there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame,
someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try, try, try
Gotta get up and try, try, try
Gotta get up and try, try, try
You’ve gotta get up and try, try, try…….

Fuck yeah! Get up and try!

Book: Joy Fielding – The Wild Zone

Here is the official description of the story from http://www.joyfielding.com :

Two brothers – Will and Jeff – and their friend Tom are out one night at their favorite South Beach bar when they decide to make a bet on who can be the first to seduce a mysterious-looking young woman drinking by herself. Pretty, dark-haired, blue-eyed Suzy has an innocent – almost ordinary – girl-next-door way about her. “Just waiting for Prince Charming to hit on her,” Jeff says.

But Suzy isn’t as naive as she seems. And she has an agenda of her own. Soon another challenge is born, only this one proves to be lethal. Dark secrets, hidden passions and a story filled with intrigue, The Wild Zone  will keep you in suspense until the very last page is turned.

I just finished reading this book. I chose it from the library of my mom when I was leaving to hospital. Joy Fieding is my mom’s favorite author. For me she is quite ok. She writes mostly horror novels. I read already few of her books but this one somehow did’n catch me.

The plot was very shallow and included all possible cliches -two brothers competing in all possible aspects of life, dealing with the past, hot blonde woman with big boobs, other woman tyrannized by her husband, mentally unstable friend with gun…name it.

The book probably wanted to be shocking but honesty, with all these characters, it had much higher potential. If I wasn’t in hospital, I would probably stop reading it somewhere on the way. I have nothing more to say about it. My evaluation: 3/10

 

Wake up call

Every cloud has a silver lining. But what can be possibly good on being in a hospital with strong bladder inflammation?

Before I got ill, I was exercising a lot and was sad that my results were not good enough. These feelings became even stronger when I started to date a guy who was few levels better than I was. I signed myself for many races including Spartan race and in order to get the best results I was running every other day in any weather under any conditions, doing weigh training almost every day, eating healthy, loosing weight…and also working, taking care of my daughter and actually taking care of million other things. And still was not satisfied.

In my head I wasn’t good enough so I was thinking about how to get better, what new things to do. To be able to manage everything I wanted, I even started to exercise twice a day. Running in the morning, weigh training in the evening. And wanted to start with swimming, yoga and god knows what else. And I was sleeping less and less…around 5-6 hours daily.

I got used to the fact that I haven’t been ill for a long time so I was convinced nothing can happen to me. Yes, I was always taking care of warm running clothes, hot bath after run etc…but I was still pushing more and more.

And then bang! The body said enough. When the doctor told me that I had bladder inflammation again (after a month from the last one), I started to cry. I was sad, desperate, angry…and was asking myself “why?”. Why again so soon and even stronger? Because.

They brought me to the hospital and believe it or not, now I think it was actually good for me. This illness and this stay in the hospital gave me lots of time to think and to realize what I might lose if I don’t “wake up”. The body tried to warn me during Christmas with the first inflammation, pneumonia and antibiotics. But I didn’t listen. I started to run right the next day after I finished the antibiotics and went for a full training again. And so the body had to warn me again. This time much stronger.

As soon as I came to the hospital my thoughts changed. In hospital you can see the life from the other side. Suddenly there are no runners here challenging longer distances or faster times. There are no skinny ladies trying to get rid of the last stubborn fat on their butt or  toning their abs.

Here, at IKEM, at the department of nephrology where I am staying, there are people of various ages, various weights and various physical conditions, some of them can barely walk, some have fistula on their hands, some have various hoses and in most of their faces you can see pain. But what we all have in common is, that we have problems with our kidneys.

I heard some patients talking about kidney inflammations, kidney failures, dialysis, heart problems, diabetes and other illnesses and complications. And that is exactly what I don’t want! To get some serious illness, complications or even worse – to lose my kidney and go back to dialysis. No, no, NO! Nothing in my life (except my daughter, but that’s incomparable) is worth experiencing problems with my kidney! How the hell could I have ever forgotten about that?! I went through so many hard times and pain to come to this point and I am just not willing to give it up for some stupid ideas!

So, lesson learned, really. I do promise here publicly that from now on I will not act as an idiot. I will only exercise in a way that it couldn’t harm me and I will always put my health to the first place. Maybe I should find some trainer who has experience in training people with certain illnesses or disabilities. Probably I should also set me some real goal like what races I want to run and how fast etc…will definitely have to think about it and come up with a plan. But sky is not the limit anymore. My healthy transplanted kidney is. My health is.

Dear body, thank you for reminding me this.

My kidney transplantation – Part 4

When we arrived to the hospital, they were already waiting for us. First of all they took me enormous amount of blood, I don’t remember exactly but it was around 10 tubes at least. They also started to examine other things like pressure, temperature, ECG and other million of things. They also told me that it was good that I came directly from dialysis so I had my blood pretty clean. Sometimes, when it is too long after the last dialysis, they have to do special pre-transplantation dialysis to actually clean the body and prepare it for the operation.

When all other tests were done, we just had to wait for the blood matching and compatibility tests results. Simply, they had to make sure that the kidney would match the body. It felt like waiting forever. I can’t even say if it was minutes or hours, it just felt forever. I remember that we were talking about how it would be with the transplanted kidney, how everything would change, what would we do when I got better and so on. We just didn’t want to admit that it might not come true.

Finally, the doctor came and said all was good and ready to go. I was so happy! So me and my boyfriends kissed, hugged and said each other it was gonna be ok. And I left to the operational room. So excited, so happy and so scared at once! I was watching the nurses and doctors going around, preparing things and just wanted everything to be over already.

When suddenly a phone in the room rang. The nurse picked it up and looked at me, than to the other nurse in the room and said: “Wait! Stop!”. And continued talking to the phone. After few short sentences she said something to the other nurse again and told me that they were doing some last final test and unfortunately they found out that something was wrong.

Another punch right into my face. At the latest possible moment they told me that actually all I went through in the last few hours was for nothing. That all was gone. No operation, no kidney, no hope… I broke down…just couldn’t stand it anymore. I started to cry and shake and wasn’t able to calm down.

I have no idea how long it took me to  calm down but when I did, we went home. I don’t know when or how we came home, how I fell asleep..don’t remember much from that night. The other day I had to go for another dialysis because the one from previous day was not finished and I still didn’t have the transplanted kidney. I was very tired, very sad and was describing the nurses what happened.

Than in the middle of the other dialysis my cell rang again. IKEM… Kidney… “Do you want to accept it?”…What? Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of test? Or joke? Or what? But of course I said “yes” again. So, the same procedure as last time. Actually yesterday. Blood taking, pressure, temperature, ecg, waiting….

The results were positive again so they were taking me to the operational room. But this time, I was somehow calm. I wasn’t able to get excited because I was scared that what happened yesterday might happen again…

Then I remember just waking up at the intensive care unit. All went well, the kidney started to work directly at the operational room, producing urine.

It was November 2nd, 2005 and the day was The new beginning of my life.

The recovery was not easy. The first few days I spent at intensive care unit. It was painful pretty painful despite I was being given some painkillers. From the beginning the doctors were forcing me to walk but I was able to do just few steps. I felt unbelievably tired. But it was getting better in time.

As I already mentioned, the kidney started to produce urine already during the operation so now I had to learn again to drink a lot. For few days at the beginning I had a little hose inserted in the bladder so I was not actually going to the toilet. All the urine was going to a special sack where the doctors could see the amount of the urine and also if it doesn’t contain blood or something else it shouldn’t. Fortunately all was perfect so they removed the hose and finally I was able to go to the toilet.

But there appeared another problem. As I was not urinating much the last several months, my bladder actually shrunk. So I had to go to the toilet literally each 10-15 minutes. But to be honest, at that time I was just enjoying that I was actually able to drink and go to the toilet so it was not even annoying. I was happy that it worked well!  And it eventually got better within few days.

After few days something happened and my creatinine started to grow. I was scared to death that I was losing the kidney and got very depressed. The doctors decided to do biopsy of the kidney to find out what was wrong. It basically means that they take a huge needle and take a sample of the kidney cells. It hurts but it’s just a second. Than you can’t get out of bed for 12 hours so the kidney can recover.

With this examination they found out that the kidney had signs of rejection. It made my depressions even worse and I couldn’t stop crying. Fortunately they gave me some special medication which stopped the process and the kidney came back to a normal stage again. The treatment totally messed up my blood sugar but that was just a little complication. For few weeks I had to check my sugar level until it came back to normal.

Overall I spent 14 days in the hospital after the operation before I was released home. At home I had to be pretty much isolated and be very careful not to get any infection. The checks at the hospital were each week but the interval was being prolonged as the time from the operation was passing by. Now I have to go there each three months.

Well, my return to normal life was very slow but I was enjoying it.

 

2016 – Training diary Week 6

Report from this week will not be much about exercise. In fact, not at all. I was convinced that I caught flu at my parents and so I was staying in bed and trying to relax. But when on Tuesday morning the temperature was still high, I decided better to go to doctor just to check if my kidney was ok and if by any chance I didn’t have any other illness.

Oh my god! I am so grateful that I actually decided to go, as they found out that I had very strong bladder inflammation. When the doctor saw that I had CRP 339 she almost fainted. So they decided that they had to put me to hospital and I was fighting for being taken to Prague, to IKEM. So here I am now and it loos like I will be staying here by at least mid of next week.

As I am staying here not being able to do anything, I remembered one of the runners I follow on facebook – Emelie Forsberg. Few weeks ago she actually broke her cruciate ligaments while skiing. She was desperate, sad, angry, all those emotions that belong to this point. She wrote a post about it on her blog and she called it It’s always darkest before the dawn . And that’s what I have to keep saying myself – It’s always darkest before the dawn.

2016 – Training diary Week 5

New week is here, how exciting!

Tuesday, February 9th. Today I wanted to go for my first Spartan race training. I signed myself for Spartan Sprint race which will be held in Prague on April 23rd. So I better start training! But when I asked what is the training supposed to be about, they answered me that it starts with 7-8 kilometers run and then about 1 hour special training, comparable to circular training. Ok, I decided I am not there yet. So I just went to fitness in the evening.

I went to orbitrec and did 11,5 km in 30 mins. Not bad, I almost fainted out of the machine at the end 😀 After that I did some abs training (crunches, side crunches, bicycle crunches russian twists with 2,5 dumbbell and 45 sec plank). At the end just 2x 15 lunges with 3 kg dumbbell and also 3 series of pull ups on the machine with 45 kg support.

Then just stretching and sauna. I love sauna! Oh, and not to forget, I rewarded myself with awesome dinner – semi-skimmed curd cheese (omg, that’s what dictionary says, hope it’s correct :D) with fresh blueberries, yum!

Tvaroh a boruvky 002

Wednesday, February 10th. I felt somehow weird that yesterday at fitness I did just orbitrec workout and didn’t run at all. So I woke up early this morning and went for a short run. The plan was to do some intervals together with some slower run as workout and cool down.

I started with few minutes of slower run and than did Tabata intervals running – 8x (20 sec fast run, 10 sec slow run or walk). I gave all I could to it, felt my heart in my head and blood in my lungs. But what surprised me later when I was checking the statistics is, that no intervals are recognizable at the speed record. It looks like I was running with constant speed. So either I run too slow or walk too fast 😀 Oh, well…

But at least after these intervals I was focusing to run in trail to strengthen my ankles and also ran up one short hill twice. Well, nothing special but better 3,09 km run than nothing 🙂  20160210

Thursday, February 11th. In the evening I went for the regular training with Lukas. After the running alphabet routine, he came up with plyometric training.

PlyometrickyTrenink
Source: Pinterest.com

Our training was similar to the one shown on the picture above, only we had two boxes, one smaller and one bigger. So we started with jumping from the ground to the smaller one, from the smaller one to the higher one and then down to bosu and then sprinting as fast as possible.

I must admit that it was fun as it was so different from what I tried so far that I was really enjoying it. After few rounds my legs were shaking and I was almost not able to walk let alone to run. Very good training, can’t wait how my legs will hurt tomorrow 😀

I wanted to add another training on weekend but on Friday I went with my daughter to my parents and on Saturday I was feeling very tired so I better decided to relax. On Sunday morning I woke up with fever and I felt really ill. In the evening I had temperature 39,3 and my condition became serious. So no more training at all…

Easy peasy pasta recipe

Today I made my beloved pasta with chicken, spinach, dried tomatoes and cottage cheese. Super easy, super fast, super delicious.

What you gonna need (amount on the picture is for one big portion or two pretty small ones):

  • Chicken meat (I used thigh fillet)
  • Fresh spinach
  • Dried tomatoes (I like those in sunflower or olive oil)
  • Cottage cheese
  • Pasta (I love wholegrain or corn pasta)
  • Salt, pepper
  • Oil (this time I used the one from the dried tomatoes, it adds to the meal special taste)

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1st step: Boil some water with salt and put the pasta into it. Set the timer so you know when it’s ready (a.k.a. “al dente”) to decant it.

2nd step: In the meanwhile you will manage to finish the rest of the meal. So, heat the oil and when it’s ready, put the meat in, add salt and pepper and cook it well.

3rd step: When the meat is done, add dried tomatoes and spinach. Watch out the water that comes from the spinach, you might want to reduce the amount of it.

4th step: When the spinach reduces its volume about ten times (just few minutes, really), you can add the cottage cheese.  Then just wait until the cheese melts and that’s it! In the end it will look something like this:

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 Enjoy!