Sunny days are awesome

Especially in winter. On weekends. Like this one! On Saturday morning I woke up with my daughter watching me and asking me: “Mom, are you still sleeping?”. Well…not anymore. But I wasn’t annoyed as I slept very good and so I was actually glad that she woke me up. But as a punishment I grabbed her and was torturing her with my hugs and kisses for few minutes. Poor child 😀

And then I saw it through the window. The clear blue sky and the sunshine everywhere. After few weeks of grey, cloudy, snowy, rainy and whatever the hell sky, it was suddenly totally clear. It somehow made me happy, full of energy and willing to go out and do something.

It started with some great time outside with Ema (from throwing snow on each other through sliding from a small hill (about 5 meters long) to trying to build a snowman from a snow which wasn’t sticky at all). When we came back home after around two hours, we were tired, frozen and very hungry. So I baked us salmon with potatoes and vegetables that we both love and trust me, it tasted like heaven!

After lunch when her dad took Ema to his place, I went for a run. I think I am not able to describe the awesome feeling of running on crunchy snow when the sun is shining, the nature is covered with snow and everything looks so beautiful. It feels so great! No problems exist, nothing is bothering you, nothing matters at that time….just you, your feet and your breath (and where you step so you don’t break your leg on snow and ice)…for me it is kind of meditation. It always fills me with endorphin and I feel like life is amazing.

Well, when I came back home, I received a message that Ema had temperature and was probably ill so it spoiled my mood a bit and I decided to visit her and bring her some stuff she might need. When I saw that sweaty poor little creature I felt sorry for her but she was covered with blankets, slowly eating apple and playing on ipad so she seemed pretty fine. Not really interested in my company. So I started to talk to my ex-husband and his wife and we somehow ended up having great evening with lots of talks, jokes, wine and beers (well, they had…I came with car, so was just drinking water :D). I came back home after 11 pm. Very nice evening.

On Sunday I woke up at 8:30 totally refreshed and full of plans again. First of all I cleaned the flat and then started to work a bit. After few hours I started to write an article about the World Kidney Day which is slowly but surely coming and I promised to write an article about it for one magazine. However, all the time I was writing the article, I was looking through the window to the nearby park and was watching the sunshine covering the nature. Couldn’t focus fully on the writing.

And then I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to go out. Without any plan what to do there, I just needed to leave the flat. So I did. I was walking slowly around without any particular direction, just enjoying the sun, the nature, the snow….for some time I was sitting on a bench and watching people passing me and just felt awesome. Everything was so beautiful and peaceful…I think I spent around two hours there until I started to feel cold and decided to go back home.

However, I felt so full of energy that I turned on Pink and Avril Lavigne on very high volume and started to dance around my flat. After a long time I had that great feeling of total happiness. It’s very rare feeling for me so I was enjoying it fully. At the end I even started to exercise…some squats, push ups, plank, jumping jacks….just needed to use all the accumulated energy! I think my neighbors loved me today 😀

Overall, this weekend was one of the best in a long time (except Ema being ill). I managed to do everything I had planned and even more just because of the sunshine. I love it! I feel very connected to sun and overall to nature which literally fills me with  energy and good mood. Especially in autumn or winter when the sun is not shining very often.

2016 Overview

Well, I think 2016 wasn’t the best year I ever had but to be honest, wasn’t the worst as well, so I think I can say it was average.

It started with recovery from bladder inflammation and a break up (after just one or two months of dating but still it was painful for me). Well, one of the worst beginnings of new year. Full of depressions, sadness and tears. When I recovered fully and started to work and exercise again, another bladder inflammation surprised me in February. This time way stronger so I had to stay in a hospital. When I recovered again, thrombosis in my right leg stroke me in April and forced me to stay in a hospital again.

At that time I started to be really down – not being able to exercise for a long time caused some weight gain (well, nothing serious, around 2-3 kilos, but I hated it) and loss of condition. I started to prefer being alone in my flat and pity myself. I know it wasn’t the best idea ever but I just couldn’t help it. I just needed it.

Fortunately after few rivers of tears, roller coaster mood swings, hours of self pity and tons of used tissues, my brain decided to change the tactics and to try to run again. Running has always been my life saver so as soon as I started to run again, everything was suddenly better, even though I had to start almost from the beginning again.

I also started to do weigh exercises so my body became stronger and everything was covered with sun light. I finished few runs by myself, few with my dad, including 2run (me 10km + he 11km = half marathon together) in Ceske Budejovice and the most beautiful run in my life – Behej Lesy Karlstejn (12km).

Unfortunately another bladder inflammation brought me down in October but this time I didn’t take it that tragically. Just another visit in a hospital.

Work-wise this year was very good. Nothing really changed from last year but I do love my job and I hope I will be able to do it million more years 😉 The great thing is that I can work even in a hospital so unlike my running, my hospital visits didn’t ruin my work schedule.

Relationships…oh well, one ended right at the beginning of this year an none other appeared so this year was not really love/relationships friendly but I cannot force it. Hopefully it will come once (soon) but if it doesn’t, it will not ruin me anymore as I am pretty happy living my life as it is now.

Overall I think this year taught me some important things and I believe I am now mentally stronger and it is easier for me to overcome hard situations and obstacles. I hope next year will be better and healthier. I have many plans and I want to start doing some new things which I am excited about, so wish me luck 🙂

Anyway..to everyone who came or will come across this blog, I wish you all very happy, successful and healthy year 2017. May all your dreams come true. (And don’t forget to visit my pages again ;)).

Movie: Transcendence

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2209764/?ref_=nv_sr_1

This movie from 2014 attracted me when I saw Paul Bettany in the first scene followed by scene with Johny Depp. I never heard of that movie before and the theme sounded interesting to me. When I saw Morgan Freeman in the next scene, I decided to give the movie a chance despite the fact I was about to go to bed.

The beginning is pretty fast. You have no idea what’s going on, just people are dying. However, when it calms down a bit, the movie comes up with some very interesting ideas about the current world and all the new technologies the scientists come up with day by day.

It’s actually interesting to think about where are the borders between technology and humanity. Today, when it is being considered normal to use artificial hands, feet or any other part of the body (or at least transplanted organs ;)), and when robots are acting more and more like humans, it is just a matter of time when people will come up with artificial consciousness. And I bet many are working on it already.

I already saw few movies or episodes in sci-series on this theme so it was nothing new for me but I must say I did like this particular movie. I liked the story, the actors, the way the movie was made, etc. However, as it brought nothing new to me, in fact, the artificial consciousness became bad and was destroyed, a little bit of cliche, no?

My evaluation is 7/10.

Article about me

Some time ago I received a message on my Facebook from some woman named Jana Fili Ptackova that she was an editor in chief of a magazine Stezen which is a magazine for dialyzed and transplanted. I knew the magazine but didn’t know her so I was a bit skeptic about it. However, I agreed with the interview and we set up a meeting.

We met in a small cafe place and had a really long talk. She told me that she was interested in my story and also in the fact that I was running a lot even after transplantation. She was asking me about my health, running, family, work etc. and she was recording every single word I said. For me it was more like a chit chat more than interview so I was interested in the results.

After few weeks Jana sent me the draft of the article and also told me that she would like to have my picture on the cover page. So I sent her some pictures I had from my runs and here you can see the result:

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You can also read the whole article in the magazine here (it’s only in czech though): stezen_2016_02

Wake up call

Every cloud has a silver lining. But what can be possibly good on being in a hospital with strong bladder inflammation?

Before I got ill, I was exercising a lot and was sad that my results were not good enough. These feelings became even stronger when I started to date a guy who was few levels better than I was. I signed myself for many races including Spartan race and in order to get the best results I was running every other day in any weather under any conditions, doing weigh training almost every day, eating healthy, loosing weight…and also working, taking care of my daughter and actually taking care of million other things. And still was not satisfied.

In my head I wasn’t good enough so I was thinking about how to get better, what new things to do. To be able to manage everything I wanted, I even started to exercise twice a day. Running in the morning, weigh training in the evening. And wanted to start with swimming, yoga and god knows what else. And I was sleeping less and less…around 5-6 hours daily.

I got used to the fact that I haven’t been ill for a long time so I was convinced nothing can happen to me. Yes, I was always taking care of warm running clothes, hot bath after run etc…but I was still pushing more and more.

And then bang! The body said enough. When the doctor told me that I had bladder inflammation again (after a month from the last one), I started to cry. I was sad, desperate, angry…and was asking myself “why?”. Why again so soon and even stronger? Because.

They brought me to the hospital and believe it or not, now I think it was actually good for me. This illness and this stay in the hospital gave me lots of time to think and to realize what I might lose if I don’t “wake up”. The body tried to warn me during Christmas with the first inflammation, pneumonia and antibiotics. But I didn’t listen. I started to run right the next day after I finished the antibiotics and went for a full training again. And so the body had to warn me again. This time much stronger.

As soon as I came to the hospital my thoughts changed. In hospital you can see the life from the other side. Suddenly there are no runners here challenging longer distances or faster times. There are no skinny ladies trying to get rid of the last stubborn fat on their butt or  toning their abs.

Here, at IKEM, at the department of nephrology where I am staying, there are people of various ages, various weights and various physical conditions, some of them can barely walk, some have fistula on their hands, some have various hoses and in most of their faces you can see pain. But what we all have in common is, that we have problems with our kidneys.

I heard some patients talking about kidney inflammations, kidney failures, dialysis, heart problems, diabetes and other illnesses and complications. And that is exactly what I don’t want! To get some serious illness, complications or even worse – to lose my kidney and go back to dialysis. No, no, NO! Nothing in my life (except my daughter, but that’s incomparable) is worth experiencing problems with my kidney! How the hell could I have ever forgotten about that?! I went through so many hard times and pain to come to this point and I am just not willing to give it up for some stupid ideas!

So, lesson learned, really. I do promise here publicly that from now on I will not act as an idiot. I will only exercise in a way that it couldn’t harm me and I will always put my health to the first place. Maybe I should find some trainer who has experience in training people with certain illnesses or disabilities. Probably I should also set me some real goal like what races I want to run and how fast etc…will definitely have to think about it and come up with a plan. But sky is not the limit anymore. My healthy transplanted kidney is. My health is.

Dear body, thank you for reminding me this.

Good bye Eva, rest in peace

Today the world lost one of the nicest and kindest people I have ever met in my life. Her name was Eva. She was not my relative but part of our wider family. And she had transplanted kidney as well. She died of cancer at the age of 69. That’s not much. Not for this type of people. They should live for ever.

We became pretty close before she received her kidney because she got it few years after me and wanted to know details and stuff. After she got the kidney we became even closer. Sharing our results in the hospital, health struggles etc., mostly via sms because we were living far away from each other but as she lives very close to my parents, we sometimes met unplanned and chit chatted.

Then we somehow reduced our contact via phone but still met from time to time on the street. Anyway from time to time I was thinking of her because it does not happen very often that two people in one family have transplanted kidney. And definitely she always stayed in my heart, no matter if we were in contact or not.

And now she is dead. And I am crying. I am crying a lot for this really beautiful person who shouldn’t be gone this early. It literally hurts in my chest. I am thinking of her with love.

Well, I hope it is good there for you and you suffer no more.

Good bye Eva, rest in peace…

About this blog

Hi, my name is Lucie. 

The main reason why I decided to write this blog is, that I have transplanted kidney and I would like to write about my life with it. When I was going through the process 10 years ago, there were not many information available about it. Today it is different but most of the information are written from the medical point of view.

In this blog I would like to write about it from the “patient” point of view, to write about my life and how the transplanted kidney does or does not affect some parts of it and maybe show some other potential other patients that it is possible to live normal life after the transplantation.

Also it is not always easy to explain what it means and feels like to live with transplanted kidney to people who never came into contact with it. And sometimes I just don’t want to. So now I want to describe everything here and in case there is someone interested in details, I can just say “Take a look at my blog”.

But this blog is not meant to be only about transplantation. I would like it to be more like a diary of things that happen to me, about my thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, about things I like or don’t like, etc. So, If you want to ask me something, discuss or comment something, you are more than welcome!

Maybe I should add explanation why I am writing this blog in English instead of Czech. Well, to be honest sometimes, actually many times, I feel like I can better explain my feelings or emotions in English. It just kind of has better or more suitable expressions. And also if this stuff is written in English, it can reach more people who might find it interesting or helpful.

Well, now something more about me. I’m (soon to be) 34 years old divorced single mother of a little girl named Ema, living in Prague, which is capital of the Czech republic.  I work as an office manager in Game Dev Hub, which is a co-working space for mobile game developers. It’s pretty fun working for gaming companies as part of my job is, guess what, playing games!

I am also enthusiastic runner and I love talking about it! I don’t run long distances and I don’t run very fast but I love it! In addition I like watching movies, listening music, reading books, dancing, cooking and going for loooong walks to nature.

Enjoy the reading!

Cheers.